My boyfriend and I use the rhythm and withdrawal method so I don’t end up pregnant. I fancy him very much and think we’ll be together for a long time. I’ve been thinking about getting on the pill but am not sure where to start. Are some pills better [than] others?
- Heather, UK
Your first step is to go to your doctor. There are a lot of choices out there and you can discuss with him or her what is best for you. Some pills will be a better fit for your lifestyle and needs.
What worries me about your email is your current birth control practices. Your current methods of birth control should only be used by couples who have no risk of STIs and could deal with an unexpected pregnancy. I’ll make a chart for you to print out and put in your wallet.
|
Why You Might |
Why You Might Not |
Worst Side Effect |
|
|
The Pill |
98-99% effective |
Have to take one daily |
Mood changes |
|
Rhythm Method |
Guessing is fun |
What is today? |
Having babies |
|
Withdrawl Method |
“Don’t worry, I have control!” |
“Sorry. You just felt too good!” |
Having more babies |
It takes this manyIf you don’t want to be at such a large risk for having little British babies running around, you should get to the doctor as soon as you can and discuss your options.
- GR
I’ve recently been exploring the idea of getting an escort online. What do they mean when they say they offer GFE? My friend came up with Guaranteed Full Ejaculation but I’ve never had a half of one!
- Acronym Alan
GFE actually stands for Girlfriend Experience. Rather than meeting you for sex only, they offer a little more personal touch. There might be some kissing, hand-holding, cuddling, conversation, or a dinner date. So “HH GFE $150” would mean that for $150, you get a half an hour of an escort acting like you wish all your exes would have acted.
You'd better get it straightAlso, depending on the escort, it also might mean that they’re willing to perform some services without condoms, usually blowjobs. Don’t get me wrong – this is not terribly common in escort practices. Most are very professional and wouldn’t dream of putting themselves at risk like that. You might think, “I don’t know where she’s been” but she’s thinking the same about you. It’s up to you to calculate the risk if that is the case with the escort you select. I do know that “What does STI stand for” isn’t a question you want to ask us next.
- GR
I’ve been married to an extremely Christian woman for about five years. She reads her Bible daily and tries to live that life. Lately I’ve been really hot on the idea of bringing another woman into the bed or even maybe another couple. Whenever I’ve brought it up she throws adultery in my face. I really don’t see it as adultery. I’ve always thought that was something you did behind you’re spouse’s back. Is that your take on it? How can I make her understand?
It’s tough to handle situations with the Bible because it’s all about how we interpret it as individuals. But here is how I see it.
If your wife runs everything through a Bible filter, she’s probably pretty dead set in her views on this, but a lot has changed in these last 2000 years or so. She likely doesn’t live literally as the Old Testament says to, so she’s probably open to the idea that things do in fact change. Sure, the Bible is clear that adultery is a no-no. However, it’s the definition of adultery that is the issue here. Is it still what it once was? I say no.
Way back in the day, wives were considered their husbands’ property. The problem with adultery was that for the wife, she had defied her husband because her sexuality was not hers to give. In fact, as seen in Numbers 5:12-14, a woman could be tried for adultery even if she didn’t do anything. All it took was for the husband to feel jealous and/or suspected her to be cheating on him. If she did actually do the deed, the problem for her lover was that he had violated the husband’s property rights by being with the wife.
Hey, it worked for themThat’s why you see kings in the Bible with all these concubines and wives. Sure, they were married and had sex with many women, but it wasn’t an issue with adultery because those women didn’t have husbands. But ol’ King David could have had a wife executed if she would have hooked up with the donkey groomer. Hell, she might end up dead even if he smelled the wool blankets on her person.
Now that it’s 2007, we are a bit more civilized and ruled by a different set of reason, so we don’t consider wives to be property. In that sense, the old school definition of adultery is archaic. Everyone is ideally equal now in role and levels of respect. Anything that goes against this is obviously a problem. A husband secretly banging his secretary on his desk is completely different than a spouse giving her swinging husband permission to have selective partners if she is involved.
So in my view, there’s not adultery in the sense that she’s thinking. The two of you inviting one or two people into your bed is not mean-spirited or about deceit. As long as there is openness and permission from everyone involved, you should be good to go. She may not agree to it anyway, but it shouldn’t be because of 2000 year old text.
Adultery in the church sense is out. Maybe it’s from the reason George Bernard Shaw thought: “The early Christian rules of life were not made to last, because the early Christians did not believe that the world itself was going to last.”
- GR
