I'm a 26 year old gay male and I want to hear your thoughts on something. Why is it that I hear the gay culture celebrating gays in media when all those gays are portrayed as flamboyant and as something to laugh at? It's almost worse than being ignored!
- Raul T., NYC
Raul, I hear you on this. It's hard to say which is the worst, but the show "Next" on MTV has to be high in the running. For those that haven't seen it, I'll let you read about it rather than have me describe it to you. What would happen if I butchered something that's already a train wreck? It's hard to say.
I think it's really unfortunate that the large majority of gay males portrayed in media fulfill stereotypes and enforce a "See? Look how weird they act and how different they are" mentality. It's definitely something to think about whether it's worse to be in the background or to be portrayed as only ridiculous, effeminate, and wildly different. It's gotten to the point where it makes me cringe to hear 20-something girls scream, "Oh, I need a gay friend to go shopping with, just like on Will and Grace!"
Do you know what doesn't sell? That which is regular. What does sell? That which is seen as different and ridiculous. In case you haven't noticed, major networks on television are far, far more concerned with their bottom line than with the quality or practicality of their programs.
It's more than thisWant to know who are a few of my favorites? Rock Hudson, Marlon Brando, and Cary Grant. It's not because I find them to be particularly incredible actors or love their movies. I just love the fact that here are guys making movies for decades, as a man's man. In fact, they were arguably the man's man at their time. Women wanted to do them and guys wanted to be them. Once told by an interviewer "Everybody would like to be Cary Grant", Grant is said to have replied, "So would I." A total stud, right? Trouble is, for all the heterosexuals, they were all either rumored to be gay or, at the very minimum, bisexual. Now, these aren't the same kind of rumors that was started about Brad Pitt when he first came on the scene and every male was so threatened that they had no problem spreading the "he's gay" rumor. A lot of people who would know about these matters confirm. So where are all these types of guys now? I wish I knew, because I'd love to see a little bit of representation from someone besides Carson from "Queer Eye for the Staight Guy." It's nothing against Carson, but I know there are gays everywhere, like Raul here, that are thinking, "Dammit! We're so much more than that!"
- GR
I've been seeing a guy who is my first serious boyfriend. He and I have been tested for STDs but I make him use a condom every time we have sex because I don't want to get pregnant. He is now pressuring me to get on the pill but we always fight about it because I don't think the pill is natural. If God wanted me to be on the pill, he would have made it that way in the first place. All those hormones are just how we naturally are, which is how I want to live. How can I explain that to him?
- CN, Tennessee
Nothing personal, but humans are hardly living "natural" lives.
You know what else isn't natural? Toothpaste, highlights in your hair, deodorant, using pleated sheets of soft toilet paper, shampoo, grooming your nails, electricity, roads, the internet, your MMR shot, multivitamins, driving a car, or 99% of the things you see when you look around our convenient world.
Natural? No.If God's your thing, fine, but you were "naturally" made as a greasy, knotty-haired, diseased woman with major tooth decay and a life expectancy of 33 years who walks through fields under only the light of the sun to capture food, find water, shelter, and a leaf to wipe with.
But you do have the choice to do a number of things. Just like getting those cute little highlights, using a contraceptive is one of them. If you're not ready for the responsibility of being on the pill, that's fine. If you don't want to be on the pill because it makes you feel uncomfortable not using a condom, that's fine too. 
But so? Neither is this.It's your body; nobody can make you smoke, nobody can make you brush your teeth, and nobody can decide for you whether or not you use a contraceptive. But for you to say you don't want to use the pill because it's not natural? Come on. What is? Look a little deeper as to why you feel the way you do and discuss that with your boyfriend.
- GR
I am not sure what to tell my children when it comes to sex. It's just such an uncomfortable topic for so many parents like me. When will there be a comprehensive abstinence plan in our nation's schools so we don't have to talk to our kids about sensitive things like this?
- Waiting in South Dakota
Damn. Damn, damn, damn! We try to keep this site positive, but this question is ridiculous. When will the government step in and raise your kid for you? Hopefully for you and your children, that will never happen. I'm also not even sure what in the hell a comprehensive abstinence plan would even include. How comprehensive can "Don't have sex" be? Ignorance isn't a comprehensive concept.
I've had just about enough of people expecting, if not asking, the government to step in and bring up their kids for them.
If you think your kids are at risk because Satan walks on Earth and has decided to forget about people on an individual basis and go for a larger crowd by making records under the name Marylyn Manson, you can think that. If you don't like the video games your kids are playing, that's fine too. If you think the Harry Potter books are a demonic plan and don't want your kids to read them, hey, they're your kids, weirdo. You can instill your opinions and values upon them, damn near no matter what they are. You can even stop simply bitching and actually write into that music company, video game maker, or author and tell them basically, "Hey. I don't like or approve of what you're doing." If companies think that the repercussion against their product is considerable and might damage their image, they can decide not to continue with that product. That's different than expecting the government to get your kids on track.
Stop waiting on thisThe government's job isn't to raise your kid. We can pay taxes and elect officials that provide us safety, drivable highways, drinkable water, justice, and a number of other things. But who in their right mind would want their children's thoughts, opinions, and knowledge to be from the Almighty State? What do you think being a parent actually entails? Carrying them around, popping them out, and then saying, "I can't do this; Grey's Anatomy is on. Can the government do the rest?" That is ridiculous.
See, there is already a device in place for their upbringing. You. The parent. It's absolutely part of life and if people aren't capable or willing to do it, then they should seriously reconsider becoming a parent.
Do you want to know what you should be asking for? A system where no matter how comprehensive and great our sex education programs are, the students are sitting there, wildly bored because it's information they all have already heard. From home.
- GR
